This past Wednesday, the LGBTQ+ and Friends community group organized a panel discussion on “How to be an Ally.” The discussion was wide ranging, from the definition of allies to barriers to ally behavior, and how to be an ally for many different communities — including people of color, people with disabilities, and LGBTQ people. At a very basic level, we think of allies as people who will stand with and for someone. Too often, “ally” is reduced to a noun or a label — something we are. I would argue that an “ally” is a person who is defined by their behavior. Someone who is prepared to act. In that sense, we shift our understanding of “ally” from a noun to a verb.
Many Chautauquans stopped me on the grounds åafter reading last week’s “From the IDEA Desk” guest column from Chautauqua Theater Company leadership Jade King Caroll and Emily Glinick. Additionally, some confided in me: “To be honest, I am not sure what I would have done, or how I should have acted, had I been in that situation?”
Knowing how to act in a situation where something seems off is a skill, and one that we develop with practice. If you are anything like me, I often think of a perfect response to a difficult situation about three minutes after the situation has passed! Does that sound familiar to you? If yes, then you are not alone. It takes great skill, empathy, quick thinking and, most of all courage to know how to act in the moment.
To be an ally requires a few different steps. First and foremost, allies do their homework. They read, they listen, they build authentic relationships, and over time they develop empathy. Allies use their own lived experiences to make connections, knowing that we will never truly understand the experience of others. Second, allies take time to understand the cumulative impact of marginalization — whether they be small slights (sometimes referred to as micro-aggressions) or significant ones. This cumulative impact is akin to multiple bee stings, with little reprieve in between them. Most people, I would argue, would feel compelled to intervene in a situation where the harm is severe, such as physical violence. However, when the harm is slight, we might not catch it, we might rationalize that it is not a big deal, or we simply might not know if, and how, to respond.
There are two other essential requirements for ally behavior: our values and preparation. Allyship for causes and communities we want to support is essentially about our values, whether they come from a spiritual, moral or ethical base. Why do we care about some causes more than others? Knowing our own values and connecting them to our day-to-day behaviors is essential. Additionally, allyship behaviors require preparation and thinking in advance. What are some quick phrases that you can practice ahead of time? If you are seeking practice on how you could prepare to respond to moral dilemmas, I would recommend the TV show “What Would You Do?” The goal would not be to judge others’ reactions, but to clarify your own. What would move you to act? What would you say or do? Allyship behaviors are more likely to emerge if we have done our own work and preparation ahead of time.
Unfortunately, many people of color at Chautauqua — especially Black patrons, students and artists — have shared with me examples of microaggressions they have experienced here. I have written about these in previous columns. Some examples include mistaking one Black person for another (this happened just this week), touching Black women’s hair, and asking Black patrons if they are related to a Black speaker. There is a clear need in our community for everyone to work together to step into these moments, whenever possible, and intervene. That is what our diverse (broadly defined) community members are asking of us.
I know that many Chautauquans are interested in learning more about how to be better (or new) allies. In the coming days, we will announce opportunities for this learning to better help us transform from passive bystanders to active upstanders. I hope that you will choose to join that conversation as part of your own learning journey. One of our dilemmas is that we have thousands of people who come to Chautauqua every year, and we will not be able to reach everyone. However, having many ready-to-act allies among our returning Chautauquans can make a big difference. The call for allies is timely and urgent. As the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “the ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people, but the silence over that by the good people.”
Amit Taneja
Senior Vice President
Chief Inclusion, Diversity, Equity and Accessibility Officer
